When Motherhood Doesn't Feel Enough

Featured in the October Issue of Angelic

By Ashley Haubenschild

Read Ashley’s bio here

We live in a world that strives and competes and compares. Social media has made it incredibly simple to make our lives look like all of the highs, and none of the lows.

Life has changed a lot for me in the past year. A year ago, I had a full-time job in a field that I loved. I was going to school prepping to apply for a Master’s program.

I was actively involved in ministry. I was a part of a wonderful small group. I had solid community at both work and church.

A year ago, my family consisted of me, my husband, and our cat-child.

Then we welcomed a baby into our lives. My husband’s job moved us across the country for 6 months. And now, my life looks very different.

I’m not working anymore. I’m taking a break from school. My community consists of more facetime dates than coffee dates.

My days consist of running our household and caring for our sweet 7-month-old daughter. I have gone from being super productive on my days off to being lucky if I get basic household chores done. And I have had to learn to give myself grace.

And although this is such a sweet season in life, I find myself feeling attacked by negative thoughts. Thoughts of doubt and inadequacy. Thoughts that I am not enough because I’m not “having it all”.

“I’m not contributing to society.” “I’m not contributing to our family financially.” “I’m JUST a stay-at-home mom.”

JUST a stay-at-home mom? Where did these lies come from? Definitely not Jesus.

We live in a culture that has pounded it into our heads that women need to “have it all”. We should be able to have fulfilling marriages and spotless, DIY project homes. We must have fulfilling careers and make pintrest-worthy meals. And most of all, we need to be present, involved mothers.

And in this season of my life, all of my energy is spent investing in my marriage, my relationship with the Lord, and raising my child 24/7. And sometimes, I have a hard time accepting that as being enough.

Do you want to know what I want to be when I grow up? (Because at 27, I am still not grown up). I want to be a missionary overseas with my husband. That is what God has given me a dream for.

Before I go overseas, I need to go back to school to work in the medical field. That is what the Lord has laid on my heart to take with me to the mission field.

And before that, I need to start (and finish) my Master’s program. But then the Lord laid on our hearts that it we needed to pause to start our family.

Friends, maybe you are in a season like this. Maybe you are facing lies (and they are in fact, lies) that you are not far along enough or accomplished enough or contributing enough in life. Maybe God gave you a vision or dream, but it hasn’t come to fruition yet.

But here’s the question that really matters. Are you where God wants you, right now?

Have you been obedient to His will for your life? Because if you have, then you can rest.

Rest in where He has placed you. Rest in what He is doing, even in the unknown or the mundane. Rest in what He is doing in you and through you.

We live in a world that strives and competes and compares. Social media has made it incredibly simple to make our lives look like all of the highs, and none of the lows. It’s all about the next big thing, rather than being still.

I know that I am exactly where God wants me. Being a mother is one of the greatest joys of my life. But there are some days where I still struggle and wonder, “What did I accomplish/contribute today?”

Having a satisfying career is wonderful. And being that “pintrest-perfect” homemaker sounds nice, but my value doesn’t come from the external things of this life. It comes from my relationship with Jesus, and He said it’s time to rest and focus on being a wife and a mother.

Satan would love to have us focus on the lies and play the comparison games. They’ll keep us distracted from the task at hand.

Abiding where God has us. Serving in whatever season He has you in. Being missionally-minded always, even in the mundane or “still” seasons of life.

Be confident in where God has you. Be confident in where He has led you.

God is sanctifying me, even now. Working on the deep places of my heart while I’m “being still”. This season is a huge blessing, even if it feels mundane sometimes.

In a world that tells us we must work to earn satisfaction and fulfillment, let us rest in where God has placed us and in who He has made us to be.

“My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken,” Psalm 62: 1-2

Jesse AnayaComment